I guess blogging about my weight did help me as I started looking into gyms and trainers in our area. While I found all gyms/personal trainers were very expensive, I found a trainer/gym in our area and I am so excited! We met with the trainer last night to tour the gym and both Tony and I loved it! We had no clue how big it was as we were told it was just a "room with some equipment". It is more than that, about 4 rooms with lots of really nice equipment. When we went in last night, it was fairly full, but still there was lots of machines with no one on them. I would love to try and work out in the am, but I know me and I am not very motivated to give up my sleep to go work out. I have found that either right after work or around 8ish at night is my best time to work out. I do know it keeps me from sleeping, but not too bad. I have signed up for 5 training sessions, one a week for five weeks. Tony thinks I should do 10 but 5 is all I can afford right now. The gym is a 24 hour gym that you come and go as you please with a magnetic key. I am so excited because it is literally 2 minutes away from our house and open all the time. There is no supervision but both Tony and I have worked out in gyms before so this isn't an issue for us. I hope, eventually, Tony will take over my personal training so we don't have to pay a personal trainer but for now, it is a good idea.
I have been walking on the treadmill the past two days, just trying to test out my leg and see what it will handle. It does feel very tight and a tiny bit sore but i have been stretching alot and icing alot and trying to be proactive. I did jog a little yesterday but only for about half a mile. The gym had several low-impact, no impact machines that you could do cardio on so that will be nice to not be pounding my joints into a treadmill or a concrete track. I am hoping that Tony and I will go tonight and get ourselves acquainted with our surroundings. I hope this is a positive step towards us eating better, getting in better shape and health, and maybe helping tony to not snore as much so I can sleep at night.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Weight gain-dieting-yuck
This has been bothering me for a while so maybe if I write it out, it will spur me into action. I haven't been exercising since I hurt my leg last august and because of my lack of inaction and my increase in eating, I have put on a considerable amount of weight. I am not sure exactly how much as I haven't been on a scale in while but i am probably hovering pretty close to around 137ish (was in lower 120s), which is way, way, way too much for my short frame. I don't mind being in the 120s as long as I am exercising daily but this is way to much weight and it is embarrassing. None of my clothes fit and I have a muffin top. I battled this battle before when I lived in Colorado and won by using the weight watchers program (lost 25 lbs), but I am sick of weight watchers. I hate paying the fees, hearing the lectures, loosing the weight and not being able to commit for lifetime. It is a great program, I always loose weight when I get serious about it, but I just cannot maintain it. I start feeling super guilty about everything I put in my mouth and Tony and I fight alot because i refuse to eat out and I have to cook because he won't watch what he cooks with. We eat a ton of processed foods just because I can figure out exactly how many points. It turns me into a very angry food freak who is always hungry and always longing for certain foods, even if you can have smaller portions of said foods and still be okay. The most weight I gain is after I have been doing weight watchers as I seem to go on a food binge.
I love the feeling I get when I loose weight but have recently grown tired of battling my weight. I am not a huge fruit or veggie eater and I don't like cooking so I eat out alot. Tony and I seem to bond over eating out and both of us get very lazy with eating out. We are both hungry when we get home so we want food right then and he is usually tired so we eat out. I am so sick of eating out but can't break the cycle. It is so convenient, quick and yummy. Just last night, was thinking boy, Mexican cheesy, gooey food sounds so good and of course as soon as I got in the door, tony said, "let's go eat Mexican". Even though I had made a plan to start back walking on the treadmill last night, all will power went out the window with two words, mexican food. I hate being this way! I also hate not working out. This is the worst shape i have been in. I would like to blame it all on my leg, and that is a huge part of it, but I can't blame it all on my leg. There are so many gyms in our area and we have a treadmill but I have been super lazy here lately. I just want to go to work, come home, and play with the pups and go to bed. I know working out would give me more energy but I have come up with a thousand reasons not to.
Funny thing, had to stand up alot yesterday because i was working at my bench alot and my leg is super sore today just from standing up. I LOVED running, but fear that with my leg still bothering me, will never be able to run again. I have AKC nationals at the end of march so on one hand, don't want to injure it further, but on the other hand, need to be in shape to be able to run. I wish i could just afford a personal trainer. I do best when given specific goals and am held accountable. That is why weight watchers has worked because I had to meet goals or pay money. I have bought gym memberships before to try this theory on my own, but it never has worked, I just don't go. I feel so self-conscious just going to a gym so I either need a group class or a personal trainer to get me going. We have a fitness center here at the university, but again, even though I am twice the age of most of the students that work out there, they make me self-conscious. Even the student trainers are expensive and with our recent fun of tony being laid off and our unexpected house redecorating, money has been tight and we are just starting to recover financially to the point where I feel comfortable paying extra money.
I was reading an article the other day that said even if you are much smaller than your hubby, you will match eating patterns and I think this is true. I use to match the eating pattern of my brother (who know weighs 220 and did play professional football for 8 or so years), but that was when I had the metabolism fueled by a nuclear power house. Now, I am in my 30s and I can just look at a piece of chocolate and gain a pound in my ass, whether I eat it or not. I need a kick in the ass to get motivated and get going. I keep saying to myself, if i go up a pants size, I will start dieting and exercising, yet i am still squeezing into my size 6 jeans. Most all of my short sleeve shirts are way too tight so maybe when the weather warms up, that will be the impetus I need to loose weight.
This blog seems really random but this is just crap that is poring out of my head right now. I know the answers, just need that motivation to get going. Now on to finishing off my sweet tea:)
I love the feeling I get when I loose weight but have recently grown tired of battling my weight. I am not a huge fruit or veggie eater and I don't like cooking so I eat out alot. Tony and I seem to bond over eating out and both of us get very lazy with eating out. We are both hungry when we get home so we want food right then and he is usually tired so we eat out. I am so sick of eating out but can't break the cycle. It is so convenient, quick and yummy. Just last night, was thinking boy, Mexican cheesy, gooey food sounds so good and of course as soon as I got in the door, tony said, "let's go eat Mexican". Even though I had made a plan to start back walking on the treadmill last night, all will power went out the window with two words, mexican food. I hate being this way! I also hate not working out. This is the worst shape i have been in. I would like to blame it all on my leg, and that is a huge part of it, but I can't blame it all on my leg. There are so many gyms in our area and we have a treadmill but I have been super lazy here lately. I just want to go to work, come home, and play with the pups and go to bed. I know working out would give me more energy but I have come up with a thousand reasons not to.
Funny thing, had to stand up alot yesterday because i was working at my bench alot and my leg is super sore today just from standing up. I LOVED running, but fear that with my leg still bothering me, will never be able to run again. I have AKC nationals at the end of march so on one hand, don't want to injure it further, but on the other hand, need to be in shape to be able to run. I wish i could just afford a personal trainer. I do best when given specific goals and am held accountable. That is why weight watchers has worked because I had to meet goals or pay money. I have bought gym memberships before to try this theory on my own, but it never has worked, I just don't go. I feel so self-conscious just going to a gym so I either need a group class or a personal trainer to get me going. We have a fitness center here at the university, but again, even though I am twice the age of most of the students that work out there, they make me self-conscious. Even the student trainers are expensive and with our recent fun of tony being laid off and our unexpected house redecorating, money has been tight and we are just starting to recover financially to the point where I feel comfortable paying extra money.
I was reading an article the other day that said even if you are much smaller than your hubby, you will match eating patterns and I think this is true. I use to match the eating pattern of my brother (who know weighs 220 and did play professional football for 8 or so years), but that was when I had the metabolism fueled by a nuclear power house. Now, I am in my 30s and I can just look at a piece of chocolate and gain a pound in my ass, whether I eat it or not. I need a kick in the ass to get motivated and get going. I keep saying to myself, if i go up a pants size, I will start dieting and exercising, yet i am still squeezing into my size 6 jeans. Most all of my short sleeve shirts are way too tight so maybe when the weather warms up, that will be the impetus I need to loose weight.
This blog seems really random but this is just crap that is poring out of my head right now. I know the answers, just need that motivation to get going. Now on to finishing off my sweet tea:)
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Lighting is up, now on to the sconce lighting
The track lighting is in and the can light trim is ordered. Never take an electrician into a lighting store as you will never get him out. Funny thing though, we looked at the exact same track lighting in both the lighting store and Home Depot, and it was three times as much at the lighting store! We did order the can light trim since we couldn't find it at Home depot and of course Tony (who can't focus on one room at a time) bought trim for the bathroom can lights, which I didn't even know needed new trim. Oh well, it does look nice and he put new bulbs in that are softer and make the whole bathroom look better. I guess when Tony does the trim in the dining room, we will be replacing the trim in the entire the house and we will have to decide if we are keeping the vanity/bathroom mirror or getting a different one. We had painted the bathroom a while back but again, had issues since the wall in there is orange peel as well.
Here is a picture of our bathroom after painting and outfitting it with new towels and bathmat. You can't really see the can lights unfortunately.
Anyway, now we have to pick out what sconce lighting we are going to put in the dining room where the low ceiling is. We looked at several options at the lighting store but Tony didn't like any of them. We went home armed with catalogs and are still trying to figure out what we like. Looks like we are only going to put two in. Tony is still working on the phone jack and the last outlet with the new switch covers and sockets and we have the 3 way gang switch plate cover ordered for the big switches that control the can lights, the track lights and the soon to be sconce lights. Tony wants decora switches so he found what he likes, but we are going to have to order them as they didn't have black. Funny thing, originally, tony was going to tear down the trim from the windows and closet door and that was going to be part of the redo when he started working on trim. Now, with the colors and the lighting, we are kind of digging the trim. We shall see if we still feel that way when he does start doing trim work.
I did go sneak to the two antique stores we have in wamego and look at antique buffets. There are two that I like but really need to look around more. One store has a very ornate oak buffet that is a lighter wood and would go with the current trim color but if we go with a darker floor and darker trim, it won't match. There is a darker wood buffet at the other antique store but it is not ornate and is not in as good of shape. It has some veneer on it and there is some damage that probably won't be able to be fixed, but it is darker wood and very solid and sturdy. I just need to look around more as the furniture will be the last thing we put in.
Funny how this project is spinning into several other projects. So because of the painting not making clean lines, we can see green in the living room. I had gotten some samples of the glidden paint, trying to find something we could paint the living room that would go with the green, since you can see it. I have tried 5 neutral colors but nothing is really catching my eye.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Update on Dining Room
I just realized that I hadn't updated my blog lately about what we are doing in the dining room. We did decide to paint and tony picked out three colors, truly olive, garnett, and some shade of white. After several coats, the dining room is looking really good. I will post pictures when I get home since I don't have them on this computer but the colors really look great together and I have to give a shout out to Home Depot for helping tony pick them and giving us exactly the right amount for painting. Tony has really done a great job and I am so thrilled to see him so excited about a project involving the house, even if there are things that need to be done that are more important.
We did have a minor issue, even though we taped everything off, because of the finish on our walls (orange peel) the paint did not make definite lines so tony had to go back and hand fix lots of spots. Overall, it looks really great and we have caught the painting bug! Paint is on sale right now at Home Depot so we have been looking at colors for the living room and front bedroom. Glidden has these cute little bottles of paint that you can buy and try on your walls so we have been trying several to see what goes the best. I can tell you, the card and the paint on your wall never looks the same so it is worth it to have little splotches of color everywhere for a while! We also had a great friend come over and (thanks Kim) and help us pick out colors and give us advice on lighting. Tony is very keen on having good lighting since he is an electrician and has lots of great ideas. He is replacing the can lights in the dining room with nicer looking ones and then adding track lighting. The lower ceiling is also going to get some new can lights since there is no lighting whatsoever on that side of the room other than the blinds letting natural light in. We had played with the idea of floor lamps but I vetoed that idea. I wanted a chandelier but the ceiling is so low that anything hanging down is probably not a good idea. I always hated the chandelier that was already in the dining room because of its location, even though it was really in the center of the room. It hung way down from the uppermost part of the ceiling and just looked out of place. We will be eventually getting a proper dining room table, more than likely a rectangular size and I am hoping antique for that room. I also have my eye on a beautiful antique oak buffet but this will be waaay down the road for now.
Last weekend, we were in Lawrence so we went to their local Home depot and got new sockets and switch plate covers. Who knew something as little as that can make such a big difference? We are also looking at the decora type of switches for the main light switches in that room. Again, who knew there were so many options in switches? We also need to order our vent covers for the room since we have the switch plates now so everything matches. I am so excited! I never knew I would get this into redoing a room. I am hoping we can also start looking at flooring options so we can start saving up for that. Dog show season has started so we are gone most weekends now so it is hard when most places close at 5. Home Depot didn't have any flooring we really liked so we are probably going to have to go with a flooring center's options instead.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
The House
I am getting overwhelmed right now so need to sit and blog. Our house is becoming a huge money pit and I am scared. Let me tell you about the latest foray into trying to fix the house up. Our neighbors had told us that we had hardwood floors under the carpet downstairs. We were very excited as I really had wanted a house with all hardwood. It is so much easier to deal with when you have pets because accidents always happen no matter how well trained your pets are. Our favorite house when we were looking to buy had gorgeous hardwood floors but the backyard was the size of a postage stamp and I knew tony would not help me walk dogs so we passed on it. Anyway, we had decided to pull up the carpet in the living room first and viola, the hardwood was there underneath it, looking good with minimal amount of repair needed. There is a patch that needs to be taken out and redone but overall, a little sanding, a little wood putty here and there, and a little protective stain and it would be looking fabulous. Tony also had decided to redo the baseboards as well, which is fine with me.
We were so excited that everything looked good but really wanted to see if there was hardwood under the dining room area floor as well. We were told that the dining room use to be the kitchen and that the current kitchen was an add on. This concerned us as in a kitchen, you will have all of your appliances which could damage the quality of the floor. For that very reason, we waited for a long time to do anything to the dining room floor. Also, they had built a platform over the floor to raise up the room. The dining room doesn't have doors so the kitchen, dining room, and living room are just joined as one big room so we thought that the step up was built to make it more like a separate room. Well, tony is laid off so he thought now would be a good time to get in there and rip up the platform and look at the floor so when we had the money, we could refinish it all at the same time. Unfortunately for us, there was no floor under the platform, only dirt. Currently, we just have the plywood platform down and will probably have to live with it that way for a while till we can afford to lay down a new floor. I don't want to just lay some thing down cheap and I sure as hell don't want anymore carpet. I think i would walk on dirt versus having anymore carpet laid down. Carpet is something I really hate, especially having pets. It seems as though our very obedient, good dogs were using the carpet in both rooms as a restroom and we didn't know. I have a very sensitive nose and I never smelled pee but they were peeing. Tony also had to rip up the baseboards to get the carpet tack strips up. I think at this point, since everything is so torn up, we might as well go ahead and paint the room if we are going to paint. I prefer white walls but Tony likes color and he has picked out a green color that I sort of like. I am sure it will look good when he gets it on the wall. He also has some great ideas about lighting but of course that will have to wait till we have more of a steady income.
I will try and post some pics of before and after so everyone can see our progress. I hope tony goes back to work next week so progress may be slow!
Monday, January 18, 2010
Husbands
Today was one of those days in which i wanted to strangle my hubby and hug him at the same time. You see, my hubby is a very, very hard worker at work. He is an electrician and has been a foreman on several big jobs and he is a perfectionist. He takes his work very seriously and has had several apprentices that he has taught. Unfortunately, the hard work ends at work and none of that pride or sense of accomplishment seem to bleed over into his home life. My hubby is the laziest hard working person i have ever met and i have said this to his face many times. Let me explain what I mean.
Having grown up with a step-father who was a carpenter, I should have known things would be like this. Our house always looked like it was in some state of dilapidation yet everyone else's houses he worked on looked great! I remember the frustration of my mom, wanting him to finish projects and begging and pleading to no avail. I feel that frustration now for sure. You see, when we bought this house, I was so excited because the excuse for years had been that we rented so why should we invest any money in fixing up a rental house or the property. This saying for him also applied to yard work so consequently, I did all yard work and we had about 2 acres of land to tend to. I never minded it, was a great way to stay fit and in shape and get a great tan but then I took on our elderly landlord's yard which was another 2 or more acres and I was doing lots and lots of yard work every few days. I was always taught by my step dad to be very proud of your yard as his yard was his baby. He would lovingly get down on hands and knees and pluck weeds or multiple times a day spread chemicals or fertilizers. He (and mom and I and Al) would dutiful mow the yard so that it looked its best, even if that meant in the summer 2 or so times a week. We had about 9 acres but didn't mow all of that but a big portion of it. I brought those values to my own home and it didn't matter to me whether or not i rented or owned, the yard was a reflection of me and my values in a way. Not so for hubby. He didn't care at all what others thought of the yard. I think if there wasn't a city ordinance, he would let it get as tall as he was and not care. I had tried the whole spiel of I am not going to do this so that i would look bad and he would feel guilty and mow but that never worked. It would just look worse and worse and I would get madder and madder.
Fast forward to a few years ago when we bought this house. I really thought things would be so different. The house came with a small garage that was a great space for making a workshop. It needed work and needed power but he was an electrician so I thought this would be no problem. Well, of course that hasn't happened at all. Hubby does nothing around the house that resembles work. Even if it is the simplest of tasks, I do everything around the house. There are only three things that i leave in his hands and I mostly end up doing them anyway as I hate putting off stuff or seeing things look bad. Hubby's tasks are take out the garbage, mow the tiny yard we now have, and weed eat. I do all of these except weed eat as the weed eater is a monster of a thing and I have no clue how to use it. Our garbage is collected in the alleyway out by our garage so one must walk through the backyard or walk around the fence, a five minute task at the most. I use to even try and make him actually take the garbage out of the cans but i can't even depend on him to do that either. He will let the garbage pile up the point it is falling out. I now just empty all garbage cans and sack it up for him. Then what happens is it goes out to the deck and he is suppose to take it to the back. Well, what usually happens is it sits out there for several days, sometimes even for a week. Then the dogs either get into it or I get tired of looking at it and I trudge around to the back and put it out.
I am so envious of people who have marriages in which the husbands do stuff around the house. Several of my friends split up the work load so that no one person is doing everything. Tony had told me several times that he does not intend on helping with any of the house work. If I ask him to help, I usually get attitude so I have learned not to ask, it isn't worth it. He has gotten better about the yard work but it isn't important to him. I place a lot of importance in the way the yard looks, including the flower bed in front of our house, and especially if there is a festival in town. I can remember one fourth of July and our yard looked like a jungle. It didn't bother him in the least that it looked bad and that we are only a block away from the park where they have the fair and set off the fireworks. I had been gone to a dog show or I would have mowed it myself but instead did so when I got back. I guess in a way it is good that he doesn't care what others think about us but pride in our house and our yard is important to me.
Cleaning this house is quite a task for me. We have four inside long haired dogs so I commonly have to at least vacuum and sweep the floor twice a week. He helps with none if this and we have almost 2000 square feet to maintain. I do all the laundry including washing, folding, and putting up all of his and my clothes. I am sure that if I left things out for him to put up or fold, it would never get done. I can't stand piles or clutter. This is a personal reason that I wish to not discuss on this blog. He already has a pile on top of his dresser that I continually clean off and he goes back to piling stuff on. I really can't win for losing. To his defense, he does take the laundry baskets up the stairs and down the stairs but that is it. I so wish he would help me more, especially now that we don't have a dishwasher. I am spending a lot of time washing dishes since he is a fabulous cook and will commonly use every pot and pan in our house to make a meal. That is one thing that he does, although not every night, but he does cook and it always taste wonderful. I am not a cook and would probably have to live off of hamburger helper, scrambled eggs, and fast food if left up to my own devices. When we moved in, we had a dishwasher but it has been out of commission for several weeks now. I have asked and asked for him to look at it and he did look at it once but that has been it. We thought it had a small piece of metal blocking the middle spinning device but that ended up not being what was wrong with it. He hasn't looked at it since so I am spending lots of time washing dishes when I could be doing other things. I guess I am just a spoiled rotten brat but I am getting a very bad attitude about dishes to the point that I would rather him not cook. In our old house, we didn't have a dishwasher so I washed and dried the dishes but the sinks were set up for this. In this house, we aren't set up for that because of the dishwasher being there so I need to either reconfigure the whole counter space or he needs to fix the dishwasher.
This is also a huge bone for me to pick. Again I am a hater of clutter and try to avoid it at all expense. This is hubbys corner in the kitchen. It is always a mess. It is a huge embarrassment to me because it always looks so horrible. Anyone who comes into our back door sees this huge clutter. It actually did extend all the way to where the yellow canister is sitting but I had to push things down so I could dry out dishes. It is filled with various things out of his pocket, papers, keys, change (notice there is a change jar that is present but change never makes it into the jar unless i put it in there), tools, pencils, and other things. Don't ask him to clean this as this corner has started huge fights. I don't even try but have tried to organize piles on occasion to no avail.
Unfinished projects are everywhere at this house and include the gate, the non-functioning dishwasher, the hole in our ceiling in the master bedroom, the hot water issue and the floor in the living room. I really wish I was handy with tools and I would just fix things myself and be done. Some of these projects have been on-going for years. I just don't want to be one of those people who does nothing till they sell their house and then they fix everything and wonder why they didn't do that in the first place. I want to enjoy this house while I live here, not when i leave it. We have slowly filled our house with wonderful furniture and need a few more pieces to have the house full but I do wish we could fix the cosmetic issues as well. I want to be proud of our house, to have people over and show them how we have fixed the house up. Instead I end up making apologies for the floor, for the hole in the ceiling, for the clutter. I want to stop doing this but need him to help me!
I know that no one is perfect and I don't expect him to be. Believe me, I love him dearly, he has been very supportive of me and my "addictions" but I wish he would help me more around the house and the yard. I wish he would have pride in the house and the yard. I wish he would love me enough to want to help me, not have to be made to feel guilty to helping (which usually doesn't work). I want him to get off of the couch on Saturday mornings when I am in my cleaning mood and volunteer for some of the cleaning jobs to ease my workload. I want him to be proactive in mowing the yard in the summer when it needs to be done a few times a week. I wish he would finish some of these projects that have been hanging around for so long. He has great ideas of what he wants to do with the house and I would like to see them implemented, but not until the current projects are done. I want to be able to talk to him about the issues i have with his lack of help without him getting mad. I will be reading this to him and I hope that he can understand I want things to change and be better.
Having grown up with a step-father who was a carpenter, I should have known things would be like this. Our house always looked like it was in some state of dilapidation yet everyone else's houses he worked on looked great! I remember the frustration of my mom, wanting him to finish projects and begging and pleading to no avail. I feel that frustration now for sure. You see, when we bought this house, I was so excited because the excuse for years had been that we rented so why should we invest any money in fixing up a rental house or the property. This saying for him also applied to yard work so consequently, I did all yard work and we had about 2 acres of land to tend to. I never minded it, was a great way to stay fit and in shape and get a great tan but then I took on our elderly landlord's yard which was another 2 or more acres and I was doing lots and lots of yard work every few days. I was always taught by my step dad to be very proud of your yard as his yard was his baby. He would lovingly get down on hands and knees and pluck weeds or multiple times a day spread chemicals or fertilizers. He (and mom and I and Al) would dutiful mow the yard so that it looked its best, even if that meant in the summer 2 or so times a week. We had about 9 acres but didn't mow all of that but a big portion of it. I brought those values to my own home and it didn't matter to me whether or not i rented or owned, the yard was a reflection of me and my values in a way. Not so for hubby. He didn't care at all what others thought of the yard. I think if there wasn't a city ordinance, he would let it get as tall as he was and not care. I had tried the whole spiel of I am not going to do this so that i would look bad and he would feel guilty and mow but that never worked. It would just look worse and worse and I would get madder and madder.
Fast forward to a few years ago when we bought this house. I really thought things would be so different. The house came with a small garage that was a great space for making a workshop. It needed work and needed power but he was an electrician so I thought this would be no problem. Well, of course that hasn't happened at all. Hubby does nothing around the house that resembles work. Even if it is the simplest of tasks, I do everything around the house. There are only three things that i leave in his hands and I mostly end up doing them anyway as I hate putting off stuff or seeing things look bad. Hubby's tasks are take out the garbage, mow the tiny yard we now have, and weed eat. I do all of these except weed eat as the weed eater is a monster of a thing and I have no clue how to use it. Our garbage is collected in the alleyway out by our garage so one must walk through the backyard or walk around the fence, a five minute task at the most. I use to even try and make him actually take the garbage out of the cans but i can't even depend on him to do that either. He will let the garbage pile up the point it is falling out. I now just empty all garbage cans and sack it up for him. Then what happens is it goes out to the deck and he is suppose to take it to the back. Well, what usually happens is it sits out there for several days, sometimes even for a week. Then the dogs either get into it or I get tired of looking at it and I trudge around to the back and put it out.
I am so envious of people who have marriages in which the husbands do stuff around the house. Several of my friends split up the work load so that no one person is doing everything. Tony had told me several times that he does not intend on helping with any of the house work. If I ask him to help, I usually get attitude so I have learned not to ask, it isn't worth it. He has gotten better about the yard work but it isn't important to him. I place a lot of importance in the way the yard looks, including the flower bed in front of our house, and especially if there is a festival in town. I can remember one fourth of July and our yard looked like a jungle. It didn't bother him in the least that it looked bad and that we are only a block away from the park where they have the fair and set off the fireworks. I had been gone to a dog show or I would have mowed it myself but instead did so when I got back. I guess in a way it is good that he doesn't care what others think about us but pride in our house and our yard is important to me.
Cleaning this house is quite a task for me. We have four inside long haired dogs so I commonly have to at least vacuum and sweep the floor twice a week. He helps with none if this and we have almost 2000 square feet to maintain. I do all the laundry including washing, folding, and putting up all of his and my clothes. I am sure that if I left things out for him to put up or fold, it would never get done. I can't stand piles or clutter. This is a personal reason that I wish to not discuss on this blog. He already has a pile on top of his dresser that I continually clean off and he goes back to piling stuff on. I really can't win for losing. To his defense, he does take the laundry baskets up the stairs and down the stairs but that is it. I so wish he would help me more, especially now that we don't have a dishwasher. I am spending a lot of time washing dishes since he is a fabulous cook and will commonly use every pot and pan in our house to make a meal. That is one thing that he does, although not every night, but he does cook and it always taste wonderful. I am not a cook and would probably have to live off of hamburger helper, scrambled eggs, and fast food if left up to my own devices. When we moved in, we had a dishwasher but it has been out of commission for several weeks now. I have asked and asked for him to look at it and he did look at it once but that has been it. We thought it had a small piece of metal blocking the middle spinning device but that ended up not being what was wrong with it. He hasn't looked at it since so I am spending lots of time washing dishes when I could be doing other things. I guess I am just a spoiled rotten brat but I am getting a very bad attitude about dishes to the point that I would rather him not cook. In our old house, we didn't have a dishwasher so I washed and dried the dishes but the sinks were set up for this. In this house, we aren't set up for that because of the dishwasher being there so I need to either reconfigure the whole counter space or he needs to fix the dishwasher.
This is also a huge bone for me to pick. Again I am a hater of clutter and try to avoid it at all expense. This is hubbys corner in the kitchen. It is always a mess. It is a huge embarrassment to me because it always looks so horrible. Anyone who comes into our back door sees this huge clutter. It actually did extend all the way to where the yellow canister is sitting but I had to push things down so I could dry out dishes. It is filled with various things out of his pocket, papers, keys, change (notice there is a change jar that is present but change never makes it into the jar unless i put it in there), tools, pencils, and other things. Don't ask him to clean this as this corner has started huge fights. I don't even try but have tried to organize piles on occasion to no avail.
Unfinished projects are everywhere at this house and include the gate, the non-functioning dishwasher, the hole in our ceiling in the master bedroom, the hot water issue and the floor in the living room. I really wish I was handy with tools and I would just fix things myself and be done. Some of these projects have been on-going for years. I just don't want to be one of those people who does nothing till they sell their house and then they fix everything and wonder why they didn't do that in the first place. I want to enjoy this house while I live here, not when i leave it. We have slowly filled our house with wonderful furniture and need a few more pieces to have the house full but I do wish we could fix the cosmetic issues as well. I want to be proud of our house, to have people over and show them how we have fixed the house up. Instead I end up making apologies for the floor, for the hole in the ceiling, for the clutter. I want to stop doing this but need him to help me!
I know that no one is perfect and I don't expect him to be. Believe me, I love him dearly, he has been very supportive of me and my "addictions" but I wish he would help me more around the house and the yard. I wish he would have pride in the house and the yard. I wish he would love me enough to want to help me, not have to be made to feel guilty to helping (which usually doesn't work). I want him to get off of the couch on Saturday mornings when I am in my cleaning mood and volunteer for some of the cleaning jobs to ease my workload. I want him to be proactive in mowing the yard in the summer when it needs to be done a few times a week. I wish he would finish some of these projects that have been hanging around for so long. He has great ideas of what he wants to do with the house and I would like to see them implemented, but not until the current projects are done. I want to be able to talk to him about the issues i have with his lack of help without him getting mad. I will be reading this to him and I hope that he can understand I want things to change and be better.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Happy New Year!
What a year it has been! Miller got his MACH and we added yet another aussie to our pack. Berry turned 12, Miller turned 10 and Harley 6. We had a couple of foster dogs, both with their own unique set of issues (chopper was a poop eater and bella had the energy level of the sun) but both great dogs that went to great homes. We had ups and downs competition wise and we had two sets of nationals on other sides of the coast. We met new friends and said good bye to old ones. I started teaching along with my friends at All Star agility and have met some great friends that have been awesome to teach. I also started teaching basic obedience and agility lessons privately. I have learned alot about teaching and alot about teaching the dog owner and not just the dog.
I have been to several very awesome concerts of some of my child hood and adult hood favorites including the mighty METALLICA, AC/DC, Down, The Sword, The Answer, local favorites VSC, Decimation, Sorrow by Truth, Fleetwood Mac, Nine Inch Nails, Megadeath, Warbringer, Suicide Silence, Jane's Addiction, and Poison to name just a few. Tony and I have met some great friends as well going to these concerts and hope to rock out with them in the future. We already have tickets to AIC and would go back and see Metallica again if they come close. Of course we will always be at our local dive bar, supporting live local music such as VSC, Decimation, SBT, Black Gasoline, Hellanova and many others. We even go see our local Red State Blues Band sometimes as well.
Tony has been working constantly the whole year which is a huge blessing for the field he works in. Electricians are out of work, some most of the year, due to the lack of work because of the poor economy. While part of the year he worked in Salina which meant getting up at 4:30 am and driving an hour both ways, the other part he worked in either Topeka or Manhattan. I have also have been blessed with a great job and a great boss who is very understanding of my passion of dog showing. I have lost two of my favorite people at work, one due to having a baby and moving and one due to having a baby and deciding to be a full time mom. I miss them alot but they are having a great time being moms for sure!
Got to see my mom a few times this year, once at AKC nationals in North Carolina and once for USDAA nationals in AZ and then in St. Louis at USASA nationals. While I am qualified for AKC nationals, who knows what the future brings for USDAA nationals since I haven't shown since USDAA nationals this year due to Miller's injury. I have met a ton of new folks this year going to agility shows and am super excited that Tony is back showing harley. Agility friends are awesome and I sure have missed seeing them at the shows we have missed due to miller not showing. I haven't been back to TN in a few years so haven't seen most of my family or tony's family so hoping to get to see them this year for sure.
Goals or hopes for this year is to have miller stay injury free, continue to train Deuce and get him ready to show, and for tony to work on Harley's MACH. I would like to take a vacation with just tony and I with no dogs and also get back to TN and see family. I hope tony can continue working and that I get to continue teaching as I love it. I hope everyone has good health and stays safe and I hope you all have a great 2010!
I have been to several very awesome concerts of some of my child hood and adult hood favorites including the mighty METALLICA, AC/DC, Down, The Sword, The Answer, local favorites VSC, Decimation, Sorrow by Truth, Fleetwood Mac, Nine Inch Nails, Megadeath, Warbringer, Suicide Silence, Jane's Addiction, and Poison to name just a few. Tony and I have met some great friends as well going to these concerts and hope to rock out with them in the future. We already have tickets to AIC and would go back and see Metallica again if they come close. Of course we will always be at our local dive bar, supporting live local music such as VSC, Decimation, SBT, Black Gasoline, Hellanova and many others. We even go see our local Red State Blues Band sometimes as well.
Tony has been working constantly the whole year which is a huge blessing for the field he works in. Electricians are out of work, some most of the year, due to the lack of work because of the poor economy. While part of the year he worked in Salina which meant getting up at 4:30 am and driving an hour both ways, the other part he worked in either Topeka or Manhattan. I have also have been blessed with a great job and a great boss who is very understanding of my passion of dog showing. I have lost two of my favorite people at work, one due to having a baby and moving and one due to having a baby and deciding to be a full time mom. I miss them alot but they are having a great time being moms for sure!
Got to see my mom a few times this year, once at AKC nationals in North Carolina and once for USDAA nationals in AZ and then in St. Louis at USASA nationals. While I am qualified for AKC nationals, who knows what the future brings for USDAA nationals since I haven't shown since USDAA nationals this year due to Miller's injury. I have met a ton of new folks this year going to agility shows and am super excited that Tony is back showing harley. Agility friends are awesome and I sure have missed seeing them at the shows we have missed due to miller not showing. I haven't been back to TN in a few years so haven't seen most of my family or tony's family so hoping to get to see them this year for sure.
Goals or hopes for this year is to have miller stay injury free, continue to train Deuce and get him ready to show, and for tony to work on Harley's MACH. I would like to take a vacation with just tony and I with no dogs and also get back to TN and see family. I hope tony can continue working and that I get to continue teaching as I love it. I hope everyone has good health and stays safe and I hope you all have a great 2010!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
